School Answering Machine – turn your volume up and click or press the “space bar” to play.
Aug 282010
Jul 132010
With our upcoming vacation in mind, we bought a new camera small enough to slip into a pocket. After much research and deliberation we settled on the Sony W350
I’m not much more advanced of a photographer than the typical “point-and-shoot” person; however, I do have an appreciation for some of the more advanced technology, such as high ISO for low-light settings, and some of the methodologies, such as the rule of thirds.
This camera has impressed me with it’s ability to quickly capture and process very high quality pictures in a variety of conditions. We brought the camera along with us for our Independence Day celebrations in order to test it out. Take a look at these pictures!!! So far I am pleased with our purchase.
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- Oregon Coast
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- Winston in the Car
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety……??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’ What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best ….
I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, ‘Don’t do it stupid,’ reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and ……
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD .. . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE ……!!!
I’m pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I’m still looking for my testicles and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!
P.s… My wife can’t stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!
Enjoy life — Terry
Nov 182009
What ever you do today, either take time to view this cartoon now or save it to see later! Click on 1948 Cartoon below – this cartoon is timeless and just as true today as it was in 1948!
http://nationaljuggernaut.blogspot.com/2009/09/this-cartoon-seemed-far-fetched-in-1948.html
Nov 172009
I know this is a little early, but it is too good not to share.
Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.
See the PC Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas – no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a ‘Holiday’.
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit,
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod,
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa,
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down, At Lowe’s the word Christmas – was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears,
You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.
Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty,
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen,
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter,
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith,
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace.
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded, The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
So as you celebrate ‘Winter Break’ under your ‘Dream Tree’, Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say,
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS! Not Happy Holiday!
Please, all Christians join together and wish everyone you meet during the holidays a MERRY CHRISTMAS. Christ is The Reason for the Christmas Season!
Aug 172009
A couple of months ago we recorded the view from our back porch…
This video is dedicated to all those people out there who don’t live in the Pacific Northwest and don’t understand why we are always complaining about the weather.
Jul 152009
Today something peculiar happened in the bathroom. I had made a late morning visit to the men’s room and was washing my hands when an older man pushed open the door and walked in. He was well dressed and well kept, a rather astute looking gentleman. He walked straight over to the sink next to the one I was at, promptly turned the water on, and started washing his hands. I didn’t think much about it, after all I have done the same thing after getting my hands grimey during a ship-check or spilling something on them during lunch. But then he proceeded to break one of the most well established un-written rules – Never start a conversation with a stranger in the men’s restroom. He asked me, “Are you engineer?” To which I replied, “Yes” with a quizzical expression. I figured he was about to ask me to fix the broken paper towel dispenser or something. Instead he launched into the following soliloquy:
“I am a Health Physicist with a medical degree. You’re an engineer, and a young one at that, so you’re smart. Think about this. When I come into the restroom the first thing I do is wash my hands, then I take a ____. I wish to take care of that which has been near and dear to me for 54 years. After I take a ____, who cares? And I am a Health Physicist, think about it!”
I said thanks and hurried off, I didn’t want to give him the chance to introduce himself and attempt to shake my hand…
Apr 122009
This is a message from Dr. Tony Campolo that we enjoyed and thought appropriate to share.
It’s Friday But Sunday is Coming
Happy Easter!
Feb 272009
These were just too funny not to share.
I think I would be severly offended by this video if I lived in any of the countries in Europe. How much better can you do? Can you name the countries of the world?
http://www.sporcle.com/games/world.php
The next video is a brilliant response to this troubling problem of geographically ignorant Americans.
And Jimmy Kimmel breaks it all down for us.
Jan 192009
I recently came across this discription at work of how government policies came about…
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, all of the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, and all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon the monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be attacked.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.
Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with the cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not? Because as far as they know, that’s the way it’s always been done around there.